Top of the list when it's comes to mental health concern
So after depression , anxiety if there is something
The tops on the list is relationship concerns
What break up feels like
The reason of talking about the break up I thought that's the most difficult for anyone who is suffering or dealing with break up and in that they are not able to understand how they are exactly feel like ....
I really don't know how break up feels like but one of my friend I saw him when he had a breakup
Who dealing with the relationship problems
One day he came to me and
The first thing he told me that his chest actually pain
The break up had just happened and he had actually physical pain he said he crying for some days ,he feels like worthless since the break up happen
And he had not been eating ever ense
he looked at me and he asked me do you think I am making all of this can a break up lead to all of this
The answer to all of these yes break up can lead all of these
Breakup when they happen that can affect physically , mentally, emotionally and multiple ways
What one needs to remember is how the break up happens
In very few cases
Break up is mutual and amicable that's okay in that also sometimes for a after few we feels like hurting and than just moved on wih this feeling
Most of cases one who really wants break up and one who really wants to work upon a relationship
Otherwise break up happens in very strange ways like bitrate and there somebody who has costed someone and their parental pressure
one of them feeling they are checked out completely mentally and emotionally there could be many a reasons
There is something what led to the break up is what decides the intensity what a break up looks like
About how people react is proven its something like when a break up happens the body reacts in a manner is similar way to how body reacts when you trying to give up a drug addiction which clearly make sense
Because if you are dating someone ,you have been a long enough time there is a intimate bond formed for a years which healing itself and now to let go ....
The body would end up reacting with withdrawal like symptoms
So the physical symptoms can couse weight loss and gain
It could lead the tightness in chest
It could lead to palpitation for some breathlessness , not being able to sleep
And in for some cases the immunity drops
They may have headache don't seem to go or fever
Which has lasted for days
Some of the emotional reactions to a break up is lot of time when you have not been prepared for it
It's feels like numbness ...happening
Trust me feeling like Numb it's pretty normal it's just your body want to adjust with this feeling and wants to feel normal
And there is guilt / lonelines because our mind reminds ourselves when used to be together hanging out with each other , feeling worthless when passed through those beautiful memories that time it's hurts, deep inside pain is feeling comes all over again
And social media also remind and pop about the person what we trying to avoid to reminds like facebook book memories ,pictures ...
This things will haunting when you badly trying to avoid such things
There is so many things mentally , psychology , physically , emotionally we feel in break
But there is only way to recover ourself
With --
Initial acceptance - This can feel more like surrender at first. Finally giving in to the terms of the breakup. Overtime this will change. While the pain may still be present you can see the relationship more clearly, accepting each person's role in the relationship, the good and the bad.
Hope - THE BEST STAGE! You see a picture of your ex, you don’t feel so much anymore. You go out with a friend and realise you are enjoying yourself (not just tolerating it like you had been). You can feel it, YOU ARE MOVING ON.
These stages are not set in stone. They are just the current conceptualisation of grief post break up. It can’t tell you how you will respond. Also, its not necessarily linear. People go in and out of phases and sometimes round in circles. However, its a good start when thinking about how you are feeling and why you might be feeling it.
Furthermore, when you date someone for a while you incorporate them into your sense of identity. Following a break up you can feel confused about who you are. A literal piece of your identity has been torn from you. So don’t be surprised if you feel like this. Recovering will involve reconnecting with, and rebuilding your personal identity.
What you can do to help - the traditional suggestions
Surround yourself with loved ones. You don’t have to talk or be good company. Friends and family reconnect us with ourselves. They remind us we are lovable. They cause a release of endorphins (feel good hormones), and at the moment this can only be a good thing.
If there is no-one you feel you can talk to, write it down. Journal about your emotions. Research shows significant positive effects of journaling during times of challenge. It doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t even have to make sense. Start with… ‘today I felt’ or ‘when …(insert event) happened I felt’. Then just let it flow. Whatever words and thoughts come up. Write hard (or soft, however you feel) for 20 minutes. Finish it with three positive sentences to yourself. Something soothing. Something you have noticed about yourself that's a strength. Words of encouragement. Then re-read it and tear it up. OR don’t!
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. Try not to set dates or timelines for your recovery. Timelines will only make you feel worse if you don’t ‘snap’ out of it in the way you hoped.
Get active. This could mean using exercise to trigger endorphins and metabolise stress hormones (see this post for more information). It could mean scheduling your day around the patterns you see arising. For example, if you know that you feel worst in the mornings, go for a walk to get out of the house when you wake up. Meet someone. If you can’t sleep, make sure you are busy during the day and keep a book or crossword next to your bed at night.
Notice self-criticism. Notice any time you blame yourself, list your shortcomings, call yourself names or recall rejections. Doing this is like taking a hammer to a broken limb. Your brain is already running on a survival response. This only activates that further. When this happens think about what you would say to your friend. Say this to yourself instead. You could even write a letter as if to a friend in this situation. Then read it.
Learn how to self soothe. See these two articles for self soothing tips: one and two.
Avoid the things that you know make you feel worse. Such as checking your ex's social media or walking past their place repeatedly.
Set boundaries. If your ex keeps calling you or won’t go away. Assertively state that the relationship is over and you need time apart to heal.
The rebound - The less conventional route
It’s the question we have all thought about and on some occasions we have done more than think about - Should you get under another to get over your ex?
Legend says no. Google this. Psychologists almost unanimously agree that this is a bad idea. The traditional belief being that you will transfer your feelings for the ex onto the next. Making you imagine you feel more for this new squeeze than is real. Expectation is therefore that if you get hurt, it will be doubly bad.
Another fear for this is that you will use the new relationship as a form of revenge. An action that will foster your feelings of hurt and add more negativity to the split.
However…
What if i told you that research does not support this? That there is actually evidence to the contrary? Would you race out to your nearest bar, grab your dating apps?
The research team that investigated this found that rapid engagement in a new relationship did not correlate with negative outcome. Instead it lead to increased reports of wellbeing and self-esteem. The people who engaged in rebound relationships were not only more likely to be further along the path to detachment from their ex, but they also felt more desirable and more sure of their sense of identity than those who did not engage in a rebound. However, feelings of desire for revenge were the same across both groups (rebound did not change this!).
The researchers reasoned that the positive findings could have occured due to the rebound relationships meaning minimised disruption to social lives, less time spent worrying about the meaning of the breakup and the link the breakup had to their personal worth.
Now… I don’t think the take home message from this is go find yourself a rebound. I think the take home message is that as long as you surround yourself (from the moment of, or shortly after, the breakup) with people who make you feel good, remind you that you are desirable, fun and worthwhile. The ones that keep you busy and enaged… then your self esteem will be buoyed and you will be fine (or you will get back to fine more quickly).
That’s it
For anyone living through a break up right now… I hope you are doing ok. I hope you have a good support network and people to turn to. You are going to be fine, it just sucks (understatement) right now.
Fun fact… in the long run, personal growth is commonly associated with break ups: including increased independence, healthier behaviours, more active social lives, better relationships with others. So, maybe your friends and family were right. Maybe it will be ok.
Take care of yourself
There is one thing I want to tell you
People will come and go
What's matters it's you
You are important for yourself make yourself happier untill you are
By psychology of mind
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